11/30/16 - Tada!

I made it!  I made it to the end of NaBloPoMo!  I have blogged every day this month.  I really didn't know if I would do it since I'm such a quitter.  Oh come on!  I know I don't finish most things.

So what to write about today?  Seriously!  What should I write about today?  Give me a word or a couple words or even a sentence and I'll finish my day with one I pick.

I got two responses, one for "gratitude" and one for "friends and antics".  You gotta love girlfriends to keep you going.

I must say, my friends are what keeps me going sometimes.  When I go to the dark side they understand and give their support.  Even though they may not understand the true darkness, they know the lighter side of our tale.  For that, I appreciate them.  There is not enough gratitude in the world today.  Where did the "please" and "thank you" go, it's not out of style, it will never be.  We instill in our kids and grandkids the attitude of gratitude and hope and pray it sticks.  When everything is taken for granted, we need to show them that nothing but air and love are free.

Now on to friends and antics.  The one that suggested this *cough* Donna *cough* is my best friend.  She is also one of my friends that see the crazy side of me...and still loves me.  So...Once upon a time, in a pool at the Anderson Oasis...

Once I tell you the story you must promise not to tell.  Promise?  Cross your heart and hope to die stick a needle in your eye promise?  Ok, here goes:

I went to the Anderson Oasis to float around in the pool with my bestie Donna.  They had a couple inflatable pool floats.  One was a triangle, like this one and the other was a round one with a divot in the middle, similar to this and yes, this is a true representation of how I looked in it.  Have you ever tried to fit a square peg into a round hole?  Well it went kinda like this and when I say kinda, I mean it really went like this.  Donna had her cute little hiney in the triangular one and was floating around peacefully.  Me, on the other hand, was on the ladder trying to fit my fat ass into that little, miniscule divot.  I'd hop off the ladder and tried to land in the center, in the water I went.  Back on the ladder.  Tried sitting (gracefully I might add) in the divot, in the water I went.  This went on several times and when I say several, I'm talking minutes and I got fully soaked in the mean time.  What do you think my bestie was doing this whole time, I mean THE WHOLE TIME!?  Busting her gut laughing, that's what she was doing!  I GOT DOTS FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!  I finally got my butt on the float and didn't want to move because I knew the thing would throw me again.  It was like this Image result for mechanical bull only wet.

This is just one of many, many times we laughed and laughed.  Being around her and her family, especially my near family makes me so grateful that I have them in my life.

Thank you Donna and Janis, I love you both. 

11/29/16 - #givingTuesday

Today is #givingTuesday.  If you are able to donate, please consider giving to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, for me.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) December 2013.  I had had the symptoms for years before, but attributed them to Fibromyalgia (which I've had for years).  What brought MS to my attention was a young lady that I worked for at Delaware Seashore State Park.  She was concerned enough to ask me my symptoms.  I ticked off all the things wrong with me and then she hit me with a big question.  "Have you been tested for MS?"  I, of course, told her no.  She said my symptoms were very similar to her mother's who had had MS for a long time, she was even in a wheelchair. 

My cousin, Ray, had MS and had passed away when he was around 45.  He was around my age and I remember when his symptoms were visible and he used crutches.  He then went to a wheelchair and then eventually he was bedridden.

I was very scared that this could be true.  I made an appointment with my family doctor and she did some cognitive test and also strength test on me.  I think I was in a flare at the time because my stability was bad, my vision was blurred and the pain was unceasing.  The thing about having invisible diseases like MS and Fibromyalgia, they are hard to detect to the normal eye.  She ordered a Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) of my brain and I scheduled an appointment at my first neurologist.  He was unsure if it was MS and I lost faith in him so I scheduled an appointment at my next neurologist.  He confirmed I had MS and wanted me to start taking medication to slow down the progress and flares.  I didn't want to take no stinking needles so I just dropped the doctor's visits and muddled through.

A year or so later I had another MRI and went to see a new neurologist, my current one.  He confirmed I had dots (#igotdots) and started me on Copaxone.  I inject this medication 3 times a week.  I don't like to give myself needles but, hey, the drug is working.  I had a MRI in September and I don't have any new dots and I'm not in a flare.

Flare, or exacerbation is when my dots are active and I could get new dots.  Just because I'm not in a flare, doesn't mean the symptoms are gone.  I am in pain every. single. day!  My vision is blurred most of the time but, when I went to the ophthalmologist, my vision was perfect.  Go figure.  I'm exhausted every. single. day!  I do have a medication that will give me energy but, that doesn't last long.  That's why I try to write in the morning when my brain isn't so fuzzy.  My cognitive functions suck, my memory is bad and I can't form sentences most of the time.

Don't let anyone tell you MS doesn't hurt, if they do they are a liar.  As I sit her now my shoulders hurt, my legs hurt, especially my lower legs, my lower back hurts, my arms hurt...ad nauseam.  I have a pain management appointment today and I really wish she would prescribe marijuana.  I know some people have a problem with that, mostly people not in pain. 

Pain wears your body out.
Pain wears you out mentally.
Pain will depress you.
Pain hurts relationships.
Pain limits you.
Pain sucks.

So on the bright side...there isn't one.  MS has no cure, hell they don't even know what causes it.  So my symptoms will progress, hopefully slowly.  I don't want to use canes or crutches and God forbid I end up in a wheelchair unable to help myself.

Does prayer work?  You tell me.  I have been praying for healing and to get rid of pain.  I know family and friends have been praying.

Matthew 18:20  For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”

Matthew 7:7   “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

James 5:15  Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven.

Hope can be paralyzing.

11/28/16 - #CyberMondayblues and...

how to get over 'em.

So, you spent all your money on #BlackFriday?  Yeah, me too.  It was really a #CyberBlackFriday for me.  I got almost all my Christmas shopping done then.  I'm lacking one person, Meghan.  I tried getting her what she wants but it was sold out.  They will let me know when it's back in.  If I don't hear anything before December 10, I need to go to plan B.

  1. Now on to how to getting rid of #CyberMondayblues.  First, watch this...

  1. How are you feeling now?  If that brought a smile to your face or a chuckle, you're cured.  If not, try this...

After every sentence say dot com.  So it would go something like this:  "It's a beautiful day today dot com.".  People may look at you funny at first but seriously, this is funny!

  1. Anything yet?  Still blue?  Try this...

Show people a picture of yourself and ask them if they've seen this person.

That's funny, I don't care where you are from!

  1. Feeling better now?  No?  Well, here's one more...

Ha!  Gotcha with that one didn't I?
Now if you aren't feeling better go back up to 1. and start over.
#keepDawnweird #keepDawnsnarky

11/27/16 - 4:17

Sometimes when I wake up early (mostly every morning) I will take the time that I wake up and look up the passages in the Scriptures according to the time.  Today I woke up at 0417 so lets see some of them.

Matthew 4 17 From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

Romans 4 17 (as it is written, “I have made you a father of many nations”[d]) in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;

2 Corinthians 4 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,

Ephesians 4 17 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of[d] the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind,

James 4 17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

Those are but a few.  I like Matthew 4:17, the best of all I read this morning.  This was after Jesus was tempted by satan and had been in the desert for 40 days.  This is the beginning of his ministry.  For further reading there is a BibleGateway badge to the right which will take you to their site.


11/26/16 - If you had a pea stuck in your nose

I wonder if that title will get some attention.
I have a lot of ideas for blog posts but sometimes I just want to do something different.  I can complain about my life, I can complain about the times, I can complain about politics...there are a lot of things to complain about but you get sick of seeing it.  So here is something different, "Leave yesterday behind".
It's a cute little quote, on a cute little sticky.  How much better would our lives be if we could leave yesterday behind?  If we thought each day that the worries and woes of yesterday are in the past and we didn't dwell on them.  You can't look forward if you spend all your time looking back.  (funny thing, I just wrote 7 things that I want to add to my autobiography - see how my brain works)  Can you truly leave yesterday behind?  I wouldn't want to.  Well maybe if I could leave my regrets behind, then maybe that would be good.  I would never want to leave the good times behind.  When you think of it though, most of the good times are tinged with bad.
When I look back at my bad times, that are dripping with regret, I see that God pulled me through, yet again.  I can see that I was a successful single mother.  I can see that I am a #MSBeast because I can survive with MS.  I can see that I retired from DSP without killing anyone.  I can see that I survived my day in bed yesterday and that today I'm not hurting as bad.
So let's try it.  Stop dwelling on the past.  You can't change it anyway.

11/25/16 - A day in bed with Dawn

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Richard and Kristin, Mike and Kathy and of course Cali and Nash.  The dinner was awesome, everything tasted so good.  The only thing that could have made it better was if Meghan was there.  I miss that girl so much.  It is very hard to go through holidays without her.  It's not fair that Texas is so far away.  I wish Delaware was where Louisiana is.

Now for your entertaining pleasure, a day in bed with Dawn 😉

Yesterday I had a few things to make so I was up on my feet a lot.  Then after dinner I helped with dishes because I can't just sit there like I'm company.  When we got home my body hurt so bad that if I could cry (anti-depressants), I would.  I went to bed early with some pain meds in my gut and a vow that if I didn't feel better in the morning I was going to stay in bed and recoup.  I surely didn't have plans to go Black Friday shopping, except to do it online. 

So...here you are spending time in bed with me.  I know most of you would love that anyway...Heehee.  What to do?  We could watch a movie.  We could play a guessing game...I spy with my little eye.  We could read.  You could read to me.  Only David is allowed to rub my legs so you can't do that.  We could nap.  We could pray.  You could bring me stuff to eat.  Hey, this is sounding better as we go along.

My bottom line and all kidding aside, Multiple Sclerosis hurts, fibromyalgia hurts.  I can't separate the pain, I just know that they hurt and they hurt bad.  This will wear you down and wear you out.  It takes so much effort just to act like I'm ok.  When I say "I'm ok." I'm not.  I'm sparing you from hearing how bad I'm in pain.  I'm not looking for sympathy nor am I looking for another "cure".  I know most people only care to the point that it affects them.  So if you don't care, I get it.  I'll keep smearing on the smiling face and go on with life.

A request from me, if you have any extra pocket change after your Black Friday shopping please join in to #givingTuesday.


11/24/16 - Thankful

Thankful - full of thanks.  I have so many things I am thankful for.

First and foremost, I am thankful that the good Lord saved me.  He has blessed me in so many ways.

I am thankful for family, friends who are like family and my friends.  If I tried to name you all, with this brain, I'd forget someone. 

You are loved.  I thank God for you.  I pray for you.  You all mean the world to me.

I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. - Henry David Thoreau

11/23/16 - Time (is slipping away)

I think the older you get the faster time moves.  My High School graduating class just celebrated 40 years.  It really doesn't seem that long ago but when I look back 40 years a lot has happened.  I woke up this morning at 0319 and now over an hour later I don't know where the time went.

When I started the journey of blogging daily the month of November on BlogHer I didn't know if I would have time to do it, come to find out, I did.  I've said for years that you make time for the things you want to do.  It's easy to say "I don't have time to do that." when in fact you really don't want to do it and you don't want to admit that.

Today Cali and I will be making pumpkin roll for Thanksgiving.  Now that is a great way to spend your time, baking with your granddaughter.

I am so blessed.  I am afforded the time and opportunity to spend with my grandchildren.  They are my neighbors so I can see them anytime I want.

My time is almost up for this morning.  I need to get a shower and get ready for my day with Cali.  Until tomorrow...

11/22/16 - Dear Lord above, help us!

My heart hurts for the babies that died in the bus accident in TN.  My heart hurts for the babies that didn't die in the bus accident in TN.  My heart hurts for the Mommy's and Daddy's that lost babies in the bus accident in TN.  My heart hurts for the Mommy's and Daddy's that have injured babies from the bus accident in TN.

Dear Lord Jesus, send the comforter to these folks in TN.  Lord, place your hand on them and give them what peace they need.  Why dear God?  Why?  I don't understand this and I probably never will while I'm here on earth.  This grieves me.  Abba, they need you, they need their Daddy.  Cover them with strength, peace and comfort.  In your precious Son's name.  Amen


11/21/16 - Stop shooting Cops!!

Yesterday four police officers were shot, one died.  One of the suspects was later shot and killed. 

Are y'all that stupid to think that We The People, that voted for Trump, aren't sick of what you are doing?  Are y'all that stupid to think that we won't protect the men and women that serve our city, state and nation?  We are sick and tired of your bullshit.  Don't make us come out there for you because we will. 

Is this "hate speak", who the hell cares?


11/20/16 - Get over it!

It has almost been two weeks since the Election of 2016.  It is two months until Inauguration Day.  Will these crybabies get over it before 1/20/17?  Doubtful.

I think it has been a long time since they have lost at anything.  All throughout school they were given stickers and stars for nominal work.  They were given "participation" trophies just for showing up.  They went to college on Mommy and Daddy's dime and whenever they pouted and stomped their foot they were given whatever they wanted.  What they needed was parents that taught them that there are winners and losers.  They won't get picked first for a team.  There are bigger kids that will bully them but they need to learn to fight back.  They will lose but in losing they should have the grace to admit defeat.

I read (or really skimmed) a blog yesterday about "how do we talk to our daughters now that Trump will be POTUS".  Seriously?  What do we tell our daughters?  Well, if you can stop whining for 5 minutes, tell your daughters that Donald Trump will be POTUS for the next 4 years.  In that time if you don't like what he has done for us as a POTUS, vote him out.  Simple as that.

She writes:  "It means that this country is in crisis. It also means those individuals who are in denial about this crisis are a central part of the problem. At the same time, it means that any person who is unwilling to be open to conversation or have empathy for those who are on the opposite side of this issue are not truly committed to tackling the underlying issues of bigotry that inconspicuously (and sometimes not so inconspicuously) find their way into policy."  She writes that this is a "National Tragedy".  I almost spit my milk out.

Funny how her definition of a bigot is just the same bigotry she is whining about.

So since your Mama didn't teach you there are winners and losers, I will.  Donald Trump won.  #whatsHername lost.  Get over it!

If you need further help.


11/19/16 - Autobiography

Have you ever thought about writing a book?  When Barbara and I worked night works (1900 - 0700), at HQCC,  we would talk about writing down all the dumb stuff we did.  So is there enough "dumb stuff" floating around in your brain to actually do it, write a book?

I have had so many memorable times in my life but would they be interesting enough to sell?  It would be a cool thing to have for my kids, grandkids and future great, great grandkids.  I doubt my kids would find it very interesting because they lived a big part of it.

What I'm mostly concerned about is how long I'll have this memory.  I don't want to bewail the fact that I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS) but the truth is I do and further memory loss may be in my future.

So, what do you think?  If you know me, would you find it interesting?  If you don't know me, and based on my blog posts, would you find it interesting?  Tell me below, or on Facebook.

Image result for comment below

11/18/16 - Celebrate with me!

This post is my 100th!  I sit here today in a lot of pain.  My legs are killing me, my head hurts on the side and I'm exhausted.  So in other words, #MSSucks!!

I could go back to sleep and I just might.  My alarm is set to get Cali off the bus.  My eyes are drooping.  I woke up at 0430, which is kinda normal for me.  I did take a pain pill, which just takes the edge off the pain.

Not much of a 100th post is it?  This is my life.  This is why I can't plan things, one day I function alright, the next I might be in bed.  It's the nature of the MS Beast, it steals your life, one day at a time.


Romans 8:18  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

11/17/16 - Life is crazy...in my head

Have you ever tried living in the moment?  What I mean is actually tuning in to what is going on right this second.  We think we go through life like that but as for me, I don't.

I remember a time babysitting Nash that I wanted to focus, right now, on this baby that was growing up too fast.  It's hard to do, but I did it.  I put the TV noise out of my mind and focused on the smell of his little head.  I felt how soft his baby cheeks were and watched his little hand hold on to my finger.  For a few short moments I was living in the now, it was wonderful.  It is difficult to do!

I have, at any given moment, a myriad of things going on in my brain.  I can have a song going on while I'm reading or snippets of a Bible verse or what Cali was doing this morning before she got on the bus.  It is hard for me to focus, let alone hyperfocus.  Sometimes when I'm reading I can hyperfocus though.  There could be a lot of distractions going on around me and I may not notice.  I used to have a book mark that said, "Shut up, I'm reading".  I used to brandish it like a sword.

With MS I have had cognitive changes.  It is some of the common symptoms with MS.

“Cognitive” means of or relating to “cognition” — which refers to a range of high-level brain functions including the ability to learn and remember information, organize, plan and problem-solve, focus, maintain and shift attention, understand and use language, accurately perceive the environment, and perform calculations.

Cognitive changes are a common symptom of MS — approximately half of all people with MS will develop problems with cognition. Loss of myelin around nerve fibers can cause difficulty with transporting memories to storage areas of the brain or retrieving them from storage areas. In MS, certain functions are more likely to be affected than others:
  • Memory (acquiring, retaining and retrieving new information)
  • Attention and concentration (particularly divided attention)
  • Information processing (dealing with information gathered by the five senses)
  • Executive functions (planning and prioritizing)
  • Visuospatial functions (visual perception and constructional abilities)
  • Verbal fluency (word-finding)
A person may experience difficulties in only one or two areas of cognitive functioning or in several. Certain functions including general intellect, long-term (remote) memory, conversational skill and reading comprehension are likely to remain intact.

Only 5-10 percent of people with MS develop problems severe enough to interfere significantly with everyday activities. In very rare instances, cognitive dysfunction may become so severe that the person can no longer be cared for at home.

At 58 I'm probably losing some of my mind to age.  I hate this!  If I want to memorize a Bible verse I have to write it over and over again.  One verse, Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, took me a month to memorize.  I wrote it once a day for that whole month.  I have so many things I would love to learn but it takes perseverance, time and lastly energy.  Energy is something I am lacking.  I do challenge myself, but not like I should.  This month long NaBloPoMo is quite the challenge.  Hopefully after the month is over I can continue the challenge of writing every day.

Life sure is crazy in my head.  I have to keep praying, keep hoping, keep learning, keep reading, keep studying, keep focusing, keep living and keep typing.


11/16/16 - What if I stumble?

I've loved dc Talk for a very long time and it still pains me that they aren't together.  That form of Christian music has moved on too.  One of their songs that I love has such a great meaning once it's studied.  Dear God, keep me humble.

What If I Stumble?

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians
Who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door
And deny Him by their lifestyle
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable

What if I stumble? What if I fall?

Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together
My conflict still remains, holiness is calling
In the midst of courting fame

'Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble? And what if I fall?
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble? What if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar?

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble? And what if I fall?
What if I stumble?

Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that

I hear you whispering my name
"My love for you will never change"

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble? And what if I?
What if I stumble? And what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble? And what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my God
Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the Lord?

For non-commercial use only.
Data from: LyricFind

#keepDawnweird #God #keepDawnsnarky

11/15/16 - Well I made it!

Today I celebrate the 29th anniversary of my 29th birthday.  How cool is that?!!  Why am I up at 3 am?  It surely isn't from excitement.  Remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait to wake up on Christmas morning and your birthday? I can blame it on MS but I give that guy a bad rap all the time.  Even though he deserves it because, well, #MSSucks.  I should have baked myself a cake yesterday and then I could be enjoying some cake and milk.  I didn't, eye roll.  So here I am, up early.  Oh, by the way, hang on to your hats.  You think POTUS Trump is going to be bad...wait until you get a load of this!

POTUS Dawn Lewis

  • Defund NASA (that's around 19 billion)
  • Make English our official language
  • Defund ESL and any Spanish immersion programs
  • Defund and replace Michelle Obama's school lunch crap
  • Defund packaging in anything other than English
  • Defund and replace common core for common sense
  • Build housing for any of our Veteran's that are homeless
  • Quell the recidivism rate in our prison's
  • Make term limits for Federal, State and Local politicians
  • Remove silent letters from words
Ok, that's my list for starters.  I'll update this as I begin preparing for my run in 2020.
Now for more pressing things, right now, that make my brain itchy.
Sword - it's pronounced "sord", do NOT pronounce the "w".
"How long have you lived there for?" Seriously, save your breath and the word "for".
"I need to ax you a question."  Ax is a tool so stop being a tool and say "ask".
"Like I totally need my blankie and binkie after this election." Stop using "like" in every sentence.
African-American, they are blacks.  They were not naturalized like someone who has moved here from another country and has legally been made a citizen, e.g., Italian-American.
Are there things that absolutely drive you mad when someone says it?  Comment below, you may be featured in an upcoming blog post.


11/14/16 - On the eve of my birthday

On the eve of my birthday 24 years ago my Daddy passed away.  He slipped the bonds of this painful world and went to a paradise where we are promised no more tears or pain.  He will always be "my Daddy".  I don't care how old I am, that's his forever title.  My Daddy was a hard-working man.  All his adult life he provided for his family, no matter what.  Even after an accident that may have killed someone less strong, he fought back, so he could once again provide for his family. 
Image result for man bunsI wonder what my Daddy would think of the world we live in.  In a world where homosexuality abounds, even in our pulpit.  In a world where "Housewives of..." are screeching at each other like middle schoolers, AND are even taking up our airwaves, I wonder what he would think.  In a world of "man buns" where it seems men have been emasculated to the point of them not having a strong identity, I wonder what he would think.

I wonder what he would think of a world where we watch every move people like this make. 

A world where we need "safe spaces", our blankies and our pacifiers because our presidential candidate didn't win.  A world where a sleaze like thisImage result for beyonce at cma makes money from singing and not prostitution.

In the past 24 years a lot has happened, not all bad.  When you face a milestone, like today, I hope to look for the good.  My grandbabies are the sweetest in the world, my daughters have grown up to be outstanding young women and my life couldn't be much better.  I thank God for the good things,  I praise Him through the bad.  I pray for a better world for my family and I am so thankful that God made Harley Dukes my Daddy.

11/13/16 - Hillary is inconsequential

The election is over, thank God, but the whining continues.  If your candidate lost, pull up your adult panties and get over it.  If your candidate won, pull up your adult panties and keep this movement going.  The reason you got out to vote was simple; you either wanted to see a change in the status quo of Washington, DC politics or you wanted no change.  Obviously, most of us wanted to see a change.  We've been called racists, xenophobic, homophobic and countless other 'ic's.  I didn't even know what xenophobic was until this election cycle.  All of those names are based on fear, I'm not fearful of people from other countries, just the ones that want to kill me.  I'm not afraid of homosexuals, I'm not afraid of people that are of another race.  I love them all.

In a way I feel sorry for those that voted for Hillary and those that support her.  I think they were shoveled a pile of shit and told that it was a pile of money.  They were shoveled lies and told that it was truth.  They were shoveled cover-ups and told they were exonerated.  They were continuously lied to, not only by Hillary but by the main-stream media (CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc.).  The FBI found no reason to suggest an indictment even though their Director, under oath, said that she had lied under oath.  She left an opportunity for hackers to gain insight to classified information.  What part of all of those things didn't they see?  Is this what you wanted to see in the White House?  Haven't you had enough?

Well I have, and a lot of other people like me have.

The icing on the cake would be if Trey Gowdy has his way and Hillary is indicted, convicted and sent away for a very long time.  You know what would be even better, if Bill is thrown in there with the Clinton Foundation.

How do you like me now?


11/12/16 - Lame

My brain is not working very well this morning.  I was going to go into another of my pet peeves but it shut down.  Then I was going to talk about the dots in my brain, then it shut down.  So in lieu of any meaningful post I'll post this, one of my favorite parts of Ace Ventura - Pet Detective.

11/11/16 - Put your steel toe boots on - Vaguebooking

Vaguebooking - (from Urban Dictionary) An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on.
Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it" 
Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea"

  • If your status is too private for you to post your entire complaint either don't post anything at all OR get a blog.  Some of these vague posts may be cries for help but people get so worn down by the amount of them that they have discontinued caring. 
  • If your status is too private for you to post your entire complaint, call a friend.

  • If your status is too private for you to post your entire complaint, call your cousin or Mom.

  • If your status is too private for you to post your entire complaint, send it in messenger to people that may still care.

  • If your status is too private for you to post your entire complaint, buy the domain, http://vaguebook.com/, and make your own website.  You would have zillions of users.
Now that I've offended half of you, have a fine day!

11/10/16 - Click, click, click, click, click

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click...ad nauseam.  Have you ever worked with one?  Been married to one?  Been friends with one?  Borned one?  Bee one?  PEN CLICKERS!!  They are here to subtly drive you crazy (for me that's a short putt). 

They will do it in meetings because you are a captive audience.
They will do it in grocery stores.
They will do it just out of spite and malice.

Here's a scenario based on an actual event.  To set the scene...Supervisor's meeting, in attendance four supervisors and Section Chief.  Names will be withheld to protect the innocent and/or dead.

*sound of clicking
click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click...

*me gives stink eye to culprit, he/she doesn't notice

click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click

*me puts my own pen in my lap

click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click

Me, to culprit:  "May I borrow your pen?"

Culprit:  "Sure."

*culprit hands me pen

*me throws pen across the room and puts hands in the air in sheer desperation

*Section Chief looks at me for a moment and realizes that I am crazy

*culprit with another pen

click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click

*me kicks him/her under table and moves on with meeting

Some of the above may be hyperbole as I don't really know if the Section Chief thought I was crazy, but I'm pretty confident of it.  I told him time after time that my Mother had me tested.

So to all you pen clickers in the world, for the love of God, STOP!!

Blinking Text


11/9/16 - I mean, Finally!!

The way people speak (and even sometimes how I do) really bugs me.  I may be from Slower, lower Delaware (yes, it's Slower, lower NOT Lower, slower) but you don't have to sound like you're from Podunk, USA.

I mean, when you start every sentence the same way, you might be a Podunkite.  I mean, this could be very irritating for those not from Podunk.  I mean, when you continue to speak this way you may stay in the habit forever.  I mean, if you stay in that habit forever, you might be a Podunkite.  I mean, I like you but you are making my brain itch and I can't be held responsible, I mean, for what may happen.

I mean, to you all out there, with your normal brains, you can laugh or smirk.  I mean, I HAVE DOTS IN MY BRAIN! I mean, one of my dots is not feeling so well these past few days, the dot on my optic nerve.  I mean, I've got to call the doctor when she opens and see if she can see me today.  I mean, if she can't see me today I will have to go to my neurologist.  I mean, this freaking dot makes my eye hurt.  I mean, it hurts all the time and bright light and moving it makes it worse.  I mean, I hate MS!


I mean, in conclusion, stop starting every sentence with "I mean"!  I mean, I might have to condense my speaking pet peeves tomorrow as my list of pet peeves is growing too long for the 7-day countdown to my birthday.


11/8/16 - FINALLY!!!

Finally it's here!  I can't believe we've made it.  It has been such a long race since last year.  Today we are...

One week until my birthday! 

Woohoo!  I betcha thought something else didn't you?  Heehee, I'm telling you, join the hashtag republic #keepDawnweird
So I thought working up until my birthday I would post about some of my pet peeves. 

Now I'm no grammar cop, nor do I play one on TV, but some of this stuff makes people sound stupid.  You have no idea how many times I have to look up a word's spelling.  In grade school I was an ace in spelling, now...stinks.  I admit I'll throw a comma in there just because but most of the time on my longer posts I'll go to paperrater.com just to check.

Today's pet peeve:  See

"See" is the present tense of the word.  Example:  I can see you are loosing weight.
"Saw" is the past tense of see.  Example:  I saw the most beautiful sunset yesterday.
"Seen" is the past participle of see.  Example:  I've seen that you are feeling better.

That was your English lesson for today, now on to my peeve.  Most of my peeve is on Facebook and here it is:

I seen something blah, blah, blah.  Now when I see this I either keep scrolling or don't finish reading.  When we make statements that are trying to convince someone of something and you write something stupid like that no one will take you seriously.  I've seen this so many times that it is making my brain itchy.

So it's either I saw something blah, blah, blah., or I've seen something blah, blah, blah.

So in conclusion...don't make me call you out.  You are making my brain itchy so stop it!



11/7/16 - Brain dump Part 1

 Image result for scribbling

I get so frustrated doing things at times.  Sometimes it feels like my brain is just so full of things I need to do.  This stuff is jumbled in my brain.  To most people this can be accomplished by writing things down, prioritize them and just get it done.  To me it's like this,

I need to read! 

I need to write reviews! 

I've been asked to be a promoter for a Southern Gospel group.

I've got to get my house in order, hopefully before Christmas.  (clean stuff)

I'd like to clean Kristin and Richard's carpet before Thanksgiving.

I have a special project that I need to research and hopefully act on.

I need to stay off Facebook for a while so I can get stuff done.

And then there's Christmas and getting ready to go see Meghan in January.

Seriously, this stuff makes me stress, stress makes me hurt, hurting makes me do nothing, doing nothing gives me more strings.  It's a vicious cycle!  The struggle is real!

Help me Lord.

Sweet baby Jesus, have mercy on me.  7-11


11/6/16 - Yes I'm weird!

Just when you thought you had me figured out...I can't start a new tablet, notebook or journal on the first page.

Why you ask?  You tell me!  As long as I can remember I've never, ever been able to start paper writing on the first page.  Try and Google why I can't, you'll not be able to find a thing.  Well maybe stuck away in some psychological paper but not in today's modern time inquiries of dear Google.  I find it weird myself and I guess the first step in fixing something is to admit to it.

Image result for image paper sack head Hi, I'm Dawn and I can't start a new tablet on the first page.

Seriously!!  What the heck is wrong with me?  I can blame it on the dots in my head but I've done this forever.

Here is my theory:  My belief is when I start a new journal, notebook or tablet on the second page it gives me the opportunity to write something on the first page that fits better in chronological order.  I even do it with my art journals, sick.  Or...The first page is a buffer for the second page, so the pencil/pen won't get on the inner cover of the book.

So in conclusion:  I'm weird and I wear the badge proudly!

If you have any suggestions as to why I can't do this, comment below.  Plus, if you think this is weird, you should see me read a magazine.

11/5/16 - Beautiful places I've been

I have been blessed to be able to visit some beautiful places in my lifetime.  I hope and pray that I will long be able to continue travelling our wonderful country.

As a child my parents and I and my cousin's family have travelled and camped at some wonderful locations.  We've been to Niagara Falls, the Great Smoky Mountains, the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Finger Lakes and gorges, Okefenokee Swamp, Jekyll Island, Ontario, Canada (before there was a need for a passport), Shenandoah Valley, Maggie Valley, Cypress Gardens (bored), and of course we went to see Mickey Mouse at Disney World and Shamu at Sea World.

I've been to some alluring (had to find something different than "beautiful") places on my own.  I took a trip to Cherokee, North Carolina and I've also been to Iceland, which was ravishing.

David and I have been to some beautiful (tired of seeing that word yet?) places.  We hope to continue this too.  We've travelled mainly the southwest states; Texas, New Mexico and Arizona.  He told me before we went there that I wouldn't want to come back to Delaware, even though I argued the fact, he was right (which I hate to admit that sometimes he is).

If I can, I'm going to try to break it down into my top 10.

1.   Grand Canyon, Arizona
2.   Big Bend, Texas
3.   Carlsbad Caverns, New Mexico
4.   White Sands, New Mexico
5.   Great Smoky Mountains National Park, North Carolina
6.   Skyline Drive, Virginia
7.   Canyon de Chelly, Arizona
8.   San Antonio, Texas
9.   Geysir, Iceland
10. Reykjavik, Iceland

In later blog posts I will post personal pictures of each place.  My top 10 might have to be expanded to a top 20.  Until then...better days are coming.

Just a little taste of the Grand Canyon

11/4/16 - The first blood

While reading a devotional for review I was reading about the sin of Eden.  After God had created everything out of nothing he formed man, Adam.  God created a beautiful place between several rivers, Eden.  In the middle of that beautiful garden God had placed two trees, the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  God warned Adam that he could eat of any fruit in the garden except the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  And if Adam ate of the fruit he would surely die.  Note here, God warned Adam, Eve had not been created yet.

God then had Adam name all the things He created.  While naming all the animals, trees, birds and any other critter, they found no suitable helper for Adam.  God put him in a deep sleep, removed a rib and created Eve.  God instructed them to be fruitful and multiple.  In Eden, God had made a beautiful place for them to live.

Now, here comes the downfall, the old serpent Satan was weaving his way in and around the garden of Eden and stuck his nose into God's business.  (I need to have a post about this dude)  Mr. Sneaky Snake asked Eve if God really said they couldn't eat the fruit from any of the trees.  Eve said, sure we can eat the fruit from the trees in the Garden...well, except the fruit from the tree in the middle of the Garden.  And she further advised that they couldn't even touch the fruit or they'd die.  Mr. Snake said you won't die! if you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.  (this is what got him chunked out of Heaven, more another day)  So Eve took some of the fruit and ate it AND gave some to her husband, Adam, who was with her.  Adam was right there!  He knew what God had said.  At that moment, their eyes were opened, and they felt shame that they were naked.  They sewed together fig leaves to cover themselves.

Later, God was walking in the Garden in the cool of the evening.  Adam and Eve hid, because they were naked.  God called for Adam and Adam told God that he had heard him walking in the Garden and he had hid, because he was naked.  God wanted to know why he hid and who had told Adam that he was naked.  God asked if he had eaten the fruit from the forbidden tree and that's when all the blaming started.  *whining voice* "That woman you gave me made me do it."  Then God asked Eve what she had done and she replied, "The devil made me do it."  Then God dealt out the punishment.  Adam will work the fields, Eve will have the babies and it will be painful (thanks a lot Eve) and finally to the serpent, you will slither on the ground all your days and you will have hostility between you and the woman and your offspring and hers.  He will strike his head and the snake will strike his heel.

Then our Lord God made clothing from animal skins to cover the Man and Woman.

The first blood to cover our sin was from an animal.  As of yet, according to the Bible, no blood had been spilt.  God spilled the blood from an animal He had just created to cover the sin of the Man and Woman.
God sent them out of Eden because He didn't want them to eat the fruit from the tree of Life and live forever.  I'm so glad He did that, can you imagine the population of all those people throughout time still hanging around?  So after living in paradise, Adam and Eve had to start over in a new and hostile environment.  The first sin brought on the first blood.  Stay tuned for a post on "The last blood".

If you want to read the above in its entirety, check out Genesis 1:1 through Genesis 3:24.

11/3/16 - Short and sweet (kinda like me)

Last night I was to attend a meeting and present an update, didn't make it.  My excuse...MS.  All day yesterday I was overly exhausted and in a lot of pain.  The meeting was at 7:30 pm.

I went to sleep.

I missed 2 texts messages.

I missed 2 phone calls.

I slept through both of those things and woke up around 1:30 am to take the dog out.  Crawled back into bed and went back to sleep until around 5:30 am.

I do feel better this morning, at least not so exhausted.  The pain level is down some too, thank God.

Today I'm going with a friend that has MS and Fibromyalgia to get a MRI.  She's allergic to the contrast they usually use and will be getting a different one.  She's unsure if the different contrast will cause an allergic reaction, that's where I come in.  I hope she makes out fine.

Now I need to get up from here, pack a bag, change my clothes and get ready to go.

An old picture I found

11/2/16 - I need to write this stuff down

I need to walk around with a notepad in my hand.  I can't add it to my iCloud notes as my iCloud is always full.  What you say?  This stuff that is floating around in what is left of my brain, that's what!

Dear Lord!  My thoughts certainly aren't lonely in there.  I have questions in there and when posed to my children are deemed "weird".  Don't get me wrong, I'm in agreement with them.  Here's an example:  Why do people run with their elbows bent?  I texted that message to them both, one of them told me to go to bed and the other answered with:  "Because bending at the wrist looks gay.".  Hey, at least I got an answer.  And if you know my kids you can guess who said what.

So here is my supposition; wouldn't you gain more momentum if you were to swing your arms like you do when you walk?  Anyone?  You can comment below.  And no crap about the "gay" remark if it's true...you know you've seen it. 

I don't run.  I would only run if something big was chasing me.  I don't plan on being around anything big so therefore, I don't run.  I think running for good health is dumb.  You know your innards are jiggling around inside you, that can't be good.  And look at their faces!  If that isn't the picture of torture I don't know what it is.  I bet no chick ever picked up a husband while running.  They are grimacing, sweating, blowing, snotting and who knows what else.

I propose that you run swinging your arms at the shoulder and don't bend your arms at the elbow.  I also propose you don't run, it's dumb.

11/1/16 - It's David Kyle's birthday

Well, my hubs turns 66 today.  I don't often write about David but I'll take the opportunity of his birthday to do that.

To say we've had our ups and downs would be an understatement.  We separated for a couple years but even during that time he had our marriage front and center in his life.  He still paid bills and often sent extra money for things we needed, especially Cali.  Cali and Kristin was living with me and we often needed things for her that there really wasn't money for.  Not only that, he would send money to help Meghan out.  There was quite turmoil in our house with my daughters and David.  They flat out didn't like him.  That feeling probably hasn't changed much, but such is life.

While we were separated my Fibromyalgia and newly diagnosed Multiple Sclerosis was raging in my body.  We talked on the phone, more so at the end of our separated time.  He was determined to come home.  He never wanted to leave in the first place but for my sanity and my household sanity, it had to happen.  I had worked at DSSP the summer before he came home and it was horrible.  I was in terrible pain all summer.  I'd work some overtime to make some extra money but it was killing me to do it.  I was doing this because I wanted Kristin to stay home with Cali as long as she possibly could.  I just don't think anyone knew how hard it was for me to do it.  When you have an invisible illness it's just easier to plaster on a smile, say you're okay and move on.  The only person that really knew what I was going through was David, and it was killing him.  Very long story short, before I started work the next summer at DSSP, David came home.  Everyone at home left without understanding.

David has been my hero since coming back home.  He has taken care of me through C. diff when I was near death.  He has watched as these stupid diseases of Fibromyalgia and MS has attacked my body and has rendered me bedridden many times.  He has taken over most of the household duties that I should be doing; groceries, laundry, sometimes cooking and cleaning.  Most of the time he has taken me to doctor visits, to get MRI's and any other thing that requires driving.  When my legs hurt, he massages them.  When I get depressed, he supports me.  When I need, he prays over me.  There is nothing he won't do for me (except get my smokes).

I love you David Kyle, for all of the above and so much more.  Today you shall have oatmeal-raisin cookies for your birthday.

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